Saturday, September 17, 2011

Going back to school

Now that both the kids are in school full time ( 2 days), I've been busy as a beaver. I would like to say that I've spent it all in the studio but I haven't. I can easily see how the housework and errands can take up the entire day now that I don't have to worry about anyone else being bored with the tasks. I'm at the start of my work week so I will have to wait to get back in the studio again.

On Sunday's though I have started taking a Children's Book Illustration course at Emily Carr University and I'm hoping that the course will give me the confidence and push I need to approach publishers. For years I've said that I'm not ready or skilled enough to submit my work but that's just fear talking. My instructor, Lisa Cinar, graduated from Emily Carr ten years (!) after me which doesn't do much for my fear that I'm too old to pursue this career. Why have I waited so long and let so much time pass? I fear the rejection and the criticism. That I don't have what it takes. You can't fail if you don't try. I also fear that I may not enjoy the process of illustrating a book. Sometimes the fantasy is more enjoyable than the reality. But I really don't know the reality of being a children's book illustrator because I haven't done it. I do know that I have a deep affection for children's illustration and it's a genre I always come back to.
The truth is that I want my art to be in books that are cherished by children and fondly remembered by them when they are adults. I want my art to inspire future artists just like the illustrations that I loved and that spurred my desire to create.


  1. I enjoyed reading this post Lori. Isn't it amazing how fear can hold us back. Imagine how I feel being much older than you when so much focus is towards emerging artists in their twenties. However if we love what we do we have to just go for it despite age and all our fears. I think you will do wonderfully well and by the time you are my age just think how amazing you will be at your chosen artistic career.

  2. Thanks so much for your comments Susanne. It means a lot that you can relate when I see you as being so skilled and successful.

  3. The best thing about fear is that once you recognize it, it's easy to step past it.
    I really get what you're saying about the age thing-I'm in my mid forties, I have grandchildren, & most of the younger illustrators that I interact with on a regular basis occasionally treat me like I'm either eccentric (which can be true) or a wise woman (which is occasionally true). I like to think that having life experience makes me a better painter, but really, i think that when I'm trying to walk around my fear, so I don't know if it's valid.

  4. Thanks for that Kye. I'm so glad to know others face similar fears and while I'm annoyed that I'm getting older faster than I would like, I find I'm more willing to face the fears in front of me.