The Jealous Curator talks at Hot Art Wet City

  So last night I went to my friend Danielle's talk at Hot Art Wet City where she spoke about her best-selling book Creative Block. As I told you before, Danielle and I have been friends from before our blogging days and I was eager to catch up with her now that we live so far apart. Realistically I knew we wouldn't be able to have one of our coffee chats though because there were far too many people there who wanted to talk to her too. What can I say? She's one popular gal.

  As I was driving to the event I felt nervous for Danielle for having to speak in front of so many people. How was she going to do it?  What if she stumbles on her words? What stories would she be telling? She had said that she would bring up the conversation that we had so many years ago that spurred the Girl Crush Workshop series and the subsequent book. Eeek! I was nervous about that too. Of course I had nothing to be nervous about because Danielle is a fantastic and entertaining speaker who has always  been able to stay authentic and accessible.

As I've watched Danielle's career progress over the years I've noticed with delight how any time she's felt insecure about her choices and worried that she should act like some preconceived idea of an artist, curator or author, that someone has reminded her otherwise. Back in June '09 I had written a post about Danielle's blog to help promote it. Later Danielle had asked me to remove her name from the post because she wanted to remain anonymous as the Jealous Curator. "Why?", I asked. At the time Danielle believed that no one would think a stay-at-home mom in the suburbs would know anything about contemporary art. It didn't fit her preconceived idea of a curator. I didn't agree but I obliged and took her name off. Luckily many other people felt the same as myself and she was exposed for what she is: a formally educated fine artist, a creative director, an educator, and a public speaker who just so happens to also be a stay-at-home-mom who lives in the suburbs. I always thought adding the mom part made everything else look more impressive.

The whole world has asked for Danielle Krysa the original and an altered one won't do. I remind myself of this every time I doubt myself and think I should make my work more like so-and-so's to be more accessible. Stick to the original.

Below are some pics I took of the night's talk. Supposedly the brownie badges are going to be made for purchase. When they come out I'm snagging "My inner critic is an asshole". What's your pick?

The summer break is almost over. Am I ready to re-open my shop?

Summer is just about over and I will soon be opening my shop again. I'm looking forward to it yet I'm a little bit hesitant as well because I don't want to get wrapped up in the "selling as a measure of success" mentality. I have found that I've been a lot kinder to myself these past couple of months and as a result, I've been happier. I've been spending my time learning new things and not being very concerned with the outcome. This is a big change from last June where I felt like I had to keep a rigorous pace of work it I was going to acquire any sort of "success".

Learning to "paint" and layer with Corel.

I remember one night when I was telling my husband that I couldn't veg out in front of the t.v. because I had too much work to do. His response to me was, "Man, that boss of yours is a real slave driver." I try to remember this when I start feeling like I'm not doing "enough". I'm making all these choices and no one is forcing me to work on my Etsy shop every waking hour. I think I have this deep-seeded idea that success will never come to me without sacrifice, pain, lack of sleep and exhaustion. "You gotta pay your dues", I hear.
I'm trying to let go of other people's definition of what success means and recognize the things that make me happy as my own measure.

I can say for sure that I will need longer than two months acquire this mind-shift but I'm optimistic about my progress so far. Do you have a sure fire way to lift yourself out of periods of self-doubt? I would love to hear your thoughts.